I remember life as a child feeling very whimsical. Laying on the lounge and chatting with the “dust fairies” in the sunshine, seemingly oblivious to the dysfunction around me. I learnt very early to disassociate from my trauma and have few long term memories. I do remember feeling very sad and lonely, struggling with anxiety and having to grow up very quickly. I carried the huge load right into my early 30’s, I was extremely shy and introverted. I was a people pleaser, work-a-holic and did what ever I could to gain others approval, avoid conflict and stay on the right side of people in order to keep my nerves intact. Even to the detriment of my young family.
In my early 30’s something inside me snapped. I completely broke down and literally pulled the rug out from under everything that was, including my marriage. I was ready to start again. I was done and couldn’t exist in this way any longer. It was at this time I knew I had to get to work on myself.
I went within to heal, I read every self help book I could get my hands on in order to better understand myself and sought out some beautiful healers to help me shine a light on myself and crack open the possibilities. During this time, I also began to understand and tune in to my mis-understood spiritual gifts that were always there and ultimately went on a journey of self healing and growth. I moved into a space of being super spiritual before learning to ground myself in my humanness.
My husband Troy also went on his own healing journey, working through his own childhood trauma. We rekindled our relationship and united in strength, in a brand new way, understanding that strong, yet nurturing and loving communication is paramount in any relationship.
Over that time, I wound back my bookkeeping business so that I could follow a new path. I started turning my attention toward learning various healing modalities as well as teaching monthly wholefood cooking classes to various community groups. I began to homeschool my children and intentionally created a slower life.
With this slowing down, I felt increasingly guided as to how I needed to show up. Learning to trust... I ‘knew’ that those coming into my life were for many reasons. Some came with empowering messages and some with big lessons too. During this time, I began facilitating healing women’s circles, as well as seeing private clients for reiki sessions. I was collaborating with friends to bring day retreats and loved the life I was creating. Then in 2019 I facilitated at the Fearless Women’s Forest Gathering where I met Carolyne. I knew at this point something big was coming. I just had to wait another six months to find out what…
My journey, just like yours is always unfolding and evolving. I am always learning and growing through the experiences life throws toward me and am excited for the unity, community and the oneness to come.
With much love, Michelle x
As an Aquarian, I have always been somewhat of a humanitarian, but for the first 3 decades of my life, I had more issues than 'National Geographic'! I was brought up in a strict Irish Catholic household and as a child, I saw everything as black or white, right or wrong, believing that I had to be 'perfect'. I was weighed down by adult responsibilities well before my time, found it very difficult to relate to other children and FUN was not even in my vocabulary!
Governed by unrelenting standards, my teens and 20s were decades of rigid perfectionism and I was caught in a vicious cycle of co-dependency (a word I would not understand until I was nearly 40!). My friendships revolved around self-sacrifice, people pleasing and ‘rescuing’. I managed to stave off a complete mental breakdown until I was 31 when I was working 60 hours a week in hospitality management with a toddler in day care and an infant strapped to my chest. I was lucky enough to stumble across Schema Therapy and spent the next year working with a brilliant psychologist. I uncovered my inner child and discovered that I had been self-sabotaging my entire adult life in order to reinforce the core beliefs I had about myself.
My 30s were full of highs and lows; buying a large country hotel, separating from the father of my children, filing for bankruptcy, getting swept away in another relationship, becoming a homeschool mum, exploring spirituality as being separate from religion, and trying on many different hats to work out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Looking back, this was the decade where I woke up. No matter what I was experiencing, I remained dedicated to healing my inner child and the pursuit of self-love and self-acceptance, and I still am today.
2017 was the year that I discovered the ‘C’ word… co-dependency. I knew what I needed to do in order to create healthy boundaries, but it was almost as if the knowing got in the way of the doing. I needed to start walking my talk, and so together with my best friend, began to host a women's circle to provide women (and ourselves) a safe space to nurture themselves, be authentic, develop self-love and embrace the concept that life begins at the edge of your comfort zone. Weekly circles expanded to weekend retreats, organising International Women’s Day events and hosting the inaugural Fearless Women's Forest Gathering in 2019.
In March of 2020, just as the whole country went into lockdown, I realised that my vision was far too big to achieve on my own. Through divine intervention (remind me to tell you the story one day), I reached out to Michelle asking if she would partner with me and Holistic Wellness Community was born. My work with Holistic Wellness Community has shown me that when we move away from competition and towards collaboration and community, we become heart centered beings.
I have finally worked out what I want to be when I grow up… a person who co-creates safe spaces for people to connect on a deep and authentic level. And now, I am beyond honoured and humbled to share spaces with you all, where we can come together in community and acceptance of ourselves and each other… a space where we can support each other to be the best versions of ourselves we can be.